Pregnancy loss or miscarriage is one of the most devastating circumstances a woman has to face. The loss hurts on so many levels: emotionally, physically, spiritually and more. Perhaps more than anything else, it’s the connection a would-be mother has with her unborn child. Even though mother and baby never got to enjoy each other’s company on a personal level, there was still a bond that existed – a bond that only a woman who has experienced pregnancy loss can explain.
As the well-known saying goes, “time heals all wounds.” But does it, really? In this case, some women never truly “get over” a pregnancy loss. And that’s OK. I personally know a lady who has endured a pair of miscarriages. Every year, she marks the dates of her losses with a special tribute to her children – the children she never had. Thousands of women all across the country deal with their grief in similar ways.
Everybody handles their emotions differently, but there’s a common link among all recoveries from pregnancy loss. Before looking at different ways to cope, let’s look at four common stages of recovery.
There are typically four stages of recovery. Each stage can last for days, weeks, months or even years. Pregnancy loss, like other severe trauma, usually proceeds along this path:
Denial. This initial phase is when a woman says, “Why me?” To deal with the loss, denial puts a wall up for extra protection.
Frustration. Once the denial phase is over, anger sets in. And that frustration can be directed at anyone or anything – a spouse, significant other, self-induced anger or on a spiritual level.
Depression. Following the highs and lows of the anger period, despair can overwhelm a woman who has experienced pregnancy loss. This depression is focused on what happened, and also what might (or might not) happen in the future…for instance, “Will I ever have a successful pregnancy?”
Acceptance. This is different than forgetting about a pregnancy loss. Instead, acceptance is the realization that, however difficult it may seem, life must go on. This is often the most challenging time period after a miscarriage.
Here are a handful of useful things that may help:
If you’re in the San Diego County area and are dealing with pregnancy loss, the Turning Point Pregnancy Resource Center offers pregnancy counseling for early pregnancy situations, including miscarriages. Our counselors and medical professionals provide a safe haven to talk about your pregnancy, all in a non-judgmental environment that women feel confident in. With TPPRC, you always have a free, confidential and understanding voice of reason to confide in.
For more about our pregnancy loss resources, or to speak with a pregnancy counselor, please call the TPPRC at (858) 397-1970. Plus, we also feature a mobile pregnancy clinic in the Clairemont neighborhoods. Contact us today!